Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
