so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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