There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
