if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Randomize
