Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
