He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
