found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
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