Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Randomize
