I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
