i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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