her vagine was all disorganized.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
