He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize