What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
where are you?
Hypothermia
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
