the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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