btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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