the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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