Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
