dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
