If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
