I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
