It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
