roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
