what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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