We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
