so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Oh god it's open bar.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
