I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
