His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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