Whod you bang
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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