We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
