the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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