so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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