At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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