Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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