why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
