he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
