you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize