she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
