Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
