Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
