Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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