Whod you bang
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
