if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
