People in love make me want to vomit
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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