people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'm just crazy horny about you
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
