i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
