I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
