I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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