Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
