How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
