he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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