That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
