Just cropdusted the office
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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