I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I have demons in me.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
