we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
do nipples grow back?
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