Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
