You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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