I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
